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Check out the Art of Slowing Down Free Workshop

Listen to previous episodes on this topic: 

Navigating the Holiday Season as a Sensitive Person

Creating and Manifesting in the Winter Season

How the season and the new year energy affects your manifestation

Aloha my friends,

We are opening the new year with a new podcast episode I think you’ll find helpful. 

We all want to be in flow with life.

You know what I mean, it’s that feeling when…

~ life seems to be working with you instead of against you

~ things happen with ease

~ it all kind of magically jives and feels like very little efforting and no pushing against 

~ you feel resourced and capable of what’s on your plate 

~ life feels enjoyable and you feel present for it

~ people want to be around you and think to themselves “I’ll have what she’s having” 

Every coach and guru has a specific prescription for how to get into flow with life. Much of it is really good stuff. 

—> What gets confusing is that the prescription of do’s and don’ts to get you into flow are specific to our exact circumstances! 

That’s right, it’s different for each of us and different in the phases of life we are in.  

So what worked last year or always before in your life might actually do the opposite right now. 

In this episode that’s what we are exploring.  

We will dive into the phases of life and learn what your particular phase is and how to be in flow with it. 

I hope you enjoy it and send me a message to let me know what you figured out after you listen! 

Journaling Questions

What season of life are you in?

What is this season asking of you?

Are you working against your season of life or with it?  What does each feel like?  What does each look like outwardly?

What are the actions behaviors thoughts or outlook that are

going with the season and what are the ones that are going against it?

0:00 Ep 43 The Secret to Being in Flow with Life

00:05 Introduction to the Playful Spirituality Podcast

01:47 Understanding the Concept of 'Being in Flow'

02:42 Exploring the Seasons of Life

02:59 The Challenges and Joys of New Motherhood

04:25 Identifying Your Current Season of Life

04:31 Understanding the Demands of Your Life Season

09:12 The Importance of Going with the Flow

10:35 The Struggles of Balancing Motherhood and Personal Needs

15:22 Recognizing the Signs of Going Against the Flow

20:52 Reflecting on Your Actions, Behaviors, and Outlooks

28:25 Conclusion: Embracing Your Season of Life

Transcript

[00:00:05] Introduction to the Playful Spirituality Podcast

Welcome to the Playful Spirituality Podcast, a place to reconnect to spirit, to reclaim your unbridled wildness, and to bring you home to you. I'm Cara Vianna, and I'm honored to be on this adventure with you. This is a place to discover your magic and your superpowers. And yes, you definitely have them.

It's designed to tap you into the unconditional love and support flowing to you, and to help you access that wild, unbridled joy that we so often lose touch with. You can expect all sorts of resources, from spiritual and practical tools and teachings, to guided meditations and energy healing. We'll have some special guests, and even some live readings.

This show is for all of us who are humaning, to help you navigate this ride of life. If you are open to a little more support, more ease, [00:01:00] a broader connection to the universe and to yourself, then stay tuned and find out what might be possible with an infusion of playful spirituality.

Good afternoon, good evening, or good morning, wherever and whenever you are listening to this. I'm really excited for the conversation we're going to have today. Even though we will be in different places at different times, this connection is really fun for me and I hope that it is for you as well. I want to talk about something that's been really, relevant to me lately, and I think will be relevant for really most everyone if you dive into it a bit.

[00:01:47] Understanding the Concept of 'Being in Flow'

And that is the topic of being in flow. with life, particularly with the season of life that you're in. So we're in winter [00:02:00] season right now and I talk a lot about winter when we are in winter season. But today, differently, I would like to talk about seasons of life as in the phrase that we use to talk about phase of life.

So really this is about the phases of life that you're in. I do think it's really beneficial to also understand about the seasons, so if you haven't had that conversation with me yet, maybe go back, we'll tag a few in the show notes a few of the episodes where we've talked about that before, but it's probably winter last year where we were really talking about that and we've done some free workshops on it too, so I'll make sure we tag some of those things in the show notes.

[00:02:42] Exploring the Seasons of Life

But to talk about the phases of life you're in, these seasons of life that we refer to. And I'll give you some examples. I want you to be thinking while we're, while we're riffing on this, about what is the specific season of life that you are in right now? Because you're definitely in something. 

[00:02:59] The Challenges and Joys of New Motherhood

There's the really [00:03:00] big obvious ones, like right now I'm in this season of being a new mom.

A really obvious phase of life, because fuck it, everything is different. So there's those really big, obvious seasons of life, like if you're an empty nester and the kids have just moved out if you're in a season of grief, if you've suffered a, a really big loss, if you're in a season of retirement or, Starting that first job or being in school, or these are seasons of life in the really big, obvious ways, but then we also have smaller, shorter seasons of life.

So, Maybe the first few weeks of school when your kids are headed back to school. That's a really short, but it's a specific season of life or, or they're on spring break. That's a season. A short one, but a season. Or you're, you've had a, a sinus infection for the last two weeks. That's a season of life.

It's just a little one. And those could be kind of longer [00:04:00] things too. So for example, the kids are home all summer. That's a different season of life than you have going on the rest of the year. You injured your back and maybe it's like a two week thing where it's kind of sore. Maybe you, you, this has been a several year journey.

Maybe you're going through cancer treatment or you're taking care of an ailing family member. Or whatever your season of life is. So I want you to be thinking about what's that season of life for you. 

[00:04:25] Identifying and Understanding Your Current Season of Life

First question, important one. What is your season of life that you're in? And then the second thing I want to start riffing on is what is the season that you're in asking of you?

What are, what is expected of you different in this season of life than perhaps other ones? So for example, the things that are being asked of me, not necessarily on purpose, but this season of life is asking of me to be awake. At many, many hours of the night, on, a one second notice, [00:05:00] right in the middle of a deep REM cycle or at any point, be up, awake, and alert, and ready to take care of someone whose life depends on me at any moment of the day, 24 7.

So the season is asking me to be extremely sleep deprived. It's asking me to be ready on a moment's notice. It's asking me to take good enough care of my body that I can be producing breast milk. It's asking of me to nurse the baby. That's a choice I'm making, obviously, but because I'm making that choice, that's one of the things that is there for me to do.

I have to make sure to drink enough water and eat enough food that my body can produce this milk. This season of life is asking me to be slow. Patient and regulated, while also going through FUCKING BAD SHIT CRAZY HORMONAL SWINGS while my body's trying to regulate and heal from pregnancy, birth, and postpartum.[00:06:00] 

All while not sleeping. All while Feeding a child. There's a lot that's being asked of me. If you're in a season of taking care of someone with an illness, for example you might be asked to spend a lot of hours in a day doing these things. There might be a lot of tasks that you're being asked to do, but you might also be asked to show up with love and compassion.

to be in that space of compassion way more often than we normally would in your average seasons. If you're in the season of empty nesters, let's say you've had, the last 25 years you've been raising kids and the last one just moved out, you might be in a season of life that's asking you to rediscover yourself, to, Turn your focus of a season of shifting focus from taking care of others to [00:07:00] taking care of you.

The season might be asking you to figure out what you like to do now. What are your hobbies? What are your desires? To re prioritize life. The season might be asking you to re Assess and address and commit to the partner that you're with. Maybe you've used the kids as the reason to stay together all these years and now it's like, well, who even are you and who are you and, and what is this relationship like?

And let's redefine it now that it's not all centered around going to soccer games. Let's say you were in the season of life as a little season, like you're in the season of the first few weeks of school. Well, that's asking you to create a new schedule. It's asking you to Get everyone up earlier than maybe you were during the summer.

It's asking you to be really, really regulated because there's probably going to be a lot that your kids are processing going to school. Maybe that season is asking of you to get really organized so that [00:08:00] you can have lunches and backpacks and I don't know what else, like, prepped and ready to go.

When we have seasons of life that are requiring us to do something different than is our average, especially if it's asking for more or I suppose actually less regardless, it's asking us to do something different. Sometimes we are hard on ourselves for Following or not following what it's asking. So let me give you a really easy example.

We've probably all had an injured back at some point, or shoulder, or hip, or something, neck. Big or small, right? When that happens, you're being asked to probably rest, or make time for some gentle stretching, or take a hot bath, lay on an ice pack, go to the chiropractor. These are all things that take time and energy.

It's also probably you're being asked not to get up and do a big workout, not to reach down and lift something heavy all day, not [00:09:00] to run around and throw a football if your neck is out or whatever. We fight against the things that we're being asked of so often. 

[00:09:12] The Importance of Going with the Flow

So this is where I want to talk about being in the flow or being out of the flow.

Battling against this current or being with the current of what life is asking of you in this season. What this particular season is asking of you. And I'm sure you can imagine why this is such a big deal for me right now. We just recently did a free workshop called The Art of Slowing Down.

The external season of winter asks us to slow down, to gear down, to shift down into what my dad calls granny gear. When you're driving, if you're driving a big truck, shift it down to granny gear and just creep along. Granny gear has more power than the other gears. This is, when my dad started out logging and surveying and we would talk about So he's referring to, if you're driving a big truck and you're trying to, [00:10:00] winch a log or you're, you're hauling something really heavy, you want to shift down into granny gear and use all your power, not for speed, but for strength.

All your power for the, momentum you've got to start to build to climb up this hill with this giant log or whatever it is. And that's what we do in winter. We need to slow down because our energy is being diverted towards something that we can't see. Usually. Big shifts and changes are happening in winter, but they happen internally.

Think caterpillar in a chrysalis bear in a hibernation.

[00:10:35] The Struggles of Balancing Motherhood and Personal Needs

So for me personally, I'm in that winter, as many of us in the Northern Hemisphere are, that's asking me to slow down, and I'm in the season of motherhood. This season of new motherhood is asking me to be really present with my son. It's asking me to let things take ten times longer than I think they're gonna take.

I [00:11:00] recently refinished a, like a credenza TV stand thing. Which I know when I say that makes me sound like I'm a fucking super mom because what you're raising this baby And then you you're refinishing furniture. Let me tell you it was not impressive It's a could have been a one day project or now let's say a weekend project because paint had to dry It was not a very impressive refinishing and it looks like it was impressive, but it was definitely not fancy It took me fucking six months.

Maybe eight Just, go to the paint store and pick out some samples was on my list for like two months because even getting to the paint store 15 minutes away was damn near impossible. So this season is asking me to be patient beyond patient. It's asking me to not look at and not be wigged out by the millions of things that are screaming at me that they need to be done, and just be okay with the fact that, 

today my day looked [00:12:00] like changing a diaper and playing on the floor with my baby and Feeding him in the high chair Which then got really messy, so then cleaning the high chair and then lifting him over to the sink, because he hates his face getting wiped. So we pulled him over the sink and let him play in the water while I try to wipe his face.

And then while I was doing that he grabbed a coffee cup that was sitting next to the sink full of coffee and then dumped that, so then I'm wiping the counters and So these things that could take like 10 seconds, right, let me grab a wipe and wipe his face, winds up taking this whole big long thing.

Everything takes a lot longer. He just got into a phase and no one fucking warned me about this phase. Which honestly, all of my parent friends, thank you for not telling me this was coming. We just got to a phase where all of a sudden he's completely rejecting putting a diaper on in a lying position. If you try to lie him down, he will twerk and twist and even.

My husband who's like [00:13:00] 200 and, I don't know, he's a huge dude, right? Huge, muscly dude. He's really big. And he's like No, it's like impossible. 

It's not fun for anyone. So, overnight, I had to become an expert at diapering a baby that's walking. Standing, crawling, or sitting in my lap. And it's amazing how fast you can become adept at some new skill. So, life is asking me, the season of life is asking me to be present, to shift on a dime, and to let things take fucking forever.

And, not Most of that is natural to me. I mean, you would follow me around and you would say, Kara, you're, you're a natural mom. And sure, for the most part, this is This is going well, and I am enjoying it not all the time for sure, but the patience piece, the the slowing down piece, the being not quote [00:14:00] unquote productive That's not normal for me.

And I know I understand that what I'm doing is like the most important and the most productive thing. It just doesn't fucking look like it. You know? And those aren't natural things to me, but that's what I'm being asked of. When I go with what the season is asking of me, it is beautiful. And when I try to go against it, It bucks me off like a fucking bull at a rodeo every time.

It stresses me out, it overwhelms me, it taxes my nervous system. And so, I want to ask you, what is the season of life you're in asking of you? And we're gonna put these questions in the show notes too, in case you wanna come back and journal on them if you're like driving or jogging or, multitasking like many of us do.

And I, just so Love [00:15:00] multitasking. So, this whole baby thing, not always the space for multitasking. And I gotta be okay with that. So what is it asking of you? What is the season you're in? What is it asking of you? And are you generally going against it or with it? And you'll know because going against it probably feels like shit.

It feels hard. 

[00:15:22] Recognizing the Signs of Going Against the Flow

It feels overwhelming. And when you're in the flow, going with it Maybe it feels great, or maybe it just feels easier. If you're in a phase of immense grief, or you're in a phase of taking care of someone going through cancer treatment, or something that's a really pretty fucking difficult thing to do, going with the flow is not going to make it euphoric.

But it is going to make it less head butting for you. If you're in a phase of grief and you're trying to be super, super [00:16:00] productive or you're trying to maybe the season of grief is asking you to do things to help bring yourself back into alignment on the regular. It's probably asking you for a lot of self care.

Maybe it's asking you for periods of quiet so that you can feel, but then maybe it's also asking you not to get sucked into that. And to actually schedule things on your calendar that will get you out of the house or out of that deep grief so you don't slip into a despair. Depending on who you are, there are different things being asked of you that are for your best, in the season that you're in.

And think about when you're going with that flow, when you're following those things, let's say you've got some friends and they set up some regular things on your calendar to get you out of the house, and then you carve out a little bit of time for yourself to go ahead and take a bath and cry your face off.

And let it out for a bit. And then you go watch a standup comedy special, which gets you outta your head for a second unless you [00:17:00] forget what you're feeling and then you laugh for a minute and the laughter's good medicine. And then you, go get a massage or, or do something that feels really good for your soul.

Maybe you go stand next to the ocean or you hug a tree or you get into nature or you go drive a car really fast on a racetrack, whatever it is for you. And that helps bring you back into alignment so that you've got periods where you can feel okay even though you're going through a period of grief.

That would be perhaps being in the flow. What does it feel like when you're in that flow versus when you're not? listening to what this season of life is asking of you. If you're sick, and you're trying to be super productive and still go to work and do all the things when you're being asked to sit down and, eat saltines and watch a movie so that you don't barf all day or maybe what you're being asked is like, can you please not leave the bathroom?

And then you try to leave the bathroom and go out into the world and do something and you just shit [00:18:00] your pants all day? That's not going with the flow. This is ridiculous. I mean, if you have to stay in the bathroom, you kind of have to stay in the bathroom. But you can see what I mean here. I'm exaggerating it.

Not going with the flow is not working well. For me, when I'm catching myself not going with the flow, it's when I am allowing The things that need to get or that I want to get done to put pressure on me And then I begin to feel overwhelmed or when I'm trying to multitask and juggle too many things I've noticed that We've had days where we've had a lot of help and we have an amazing nanny who comes in a bit sometimes we have a lot more help and sometimes we have a lot less help.

Sometimes there are days when, my partner is here and the nanny is here and we're both trying to work from home and we're doing this like hot potato game with the baby. Where, okay, I'm gonna take him and I'm gonna breastfeed and then we'll play with him for a [00:19:00] few minutes and then I've got to go to record a podcast for all of you and so I hand him off to the nanny and then she's gonna rock him to sleep for his nap and then she hands him to my partner who's gonna take him outside and play for a bit and then I come back in and take him and then I'm gonna feed him lunch and we're going round and round and round and round and round and I'm, while I'm doing that I'm trying to be productive because There's all these things that I want to get done.

Okay, you take it and then I'm going to run down to the store because I wanted to grab that thing and then I'm going to rush back here and I'm going to Fold this, fucking sheet or whatever. There's a lot happening. But those are really productive days and there's a lot of help and it seems like it would be so much easier.

But, the days where I don't have any help and it's just me and my son here at the house and I let go of all expectation of getting anything done other than play with him and maybe we went for a walk? Question mark? Or maybe we're gonna, like, try to have some kind of play date or maybe it was just us all day in the house and that was it.

And it was nurse, and nap, [00:20:00] and feed, and play, and repeat. And repeat, and repeat. Because it puts me in a space of not trying to do so many things, I'm a lot less overwhelmed. And days like that can sometimes be easier and more in the flow than the other kind of days. Not always. Not always. Part of what this season of life is asking me is to make sure that I take care of myself and prioritize time for me so that I can show up and be a good mom so that I can wake up all these times throughout the night so that I can show up wanting and excited to spend time with him and when I'm not making time for me because it's really fucking easy not to make time for myself.

Like it's It's far easier to not than to actually try to do it. It doesn't go as well. So here's the next question I have for you. 

[00:20:52] Reflecting on Your Actions, Behaviors, and Outlooks

What are the actions, the behaviors, thoughts, or outlooks that are going with the season and what are the ones [00:21:00] that are going against it? And let me give you an example. One of the things that really, works well, one of the thoughts or outlooks that works really well, that my partner and I have to keep reminding ourselves is, this is a season of life we are in.

This is not forever, and one day we're gonna miss it. When I remind myself of that, it puts me into a frame of mind of being in gratitude and appreciation for the season that I'm in, even though it's really fucking hard sometimes. And it brings me back to a place of instantly re prioritizing all the things that I want to be doing.

I want to be re decorating or, okay, decorating. I want to be decorating this and this and this part of my house that we haven't decorated yet. I want to be, there's a remodel we want to do on the backyard. Project back [00:22:00] there. There's building in my business. I want to do. There's all these activities and outings and things I would like to go do.

I miss dancing. I want to go to a concert and a club and I want to go and all these things. And when I remind myself I'm in a season of life and it's temporary. Then I go, you know what? It's okay. It's okay that I don't go to concerts right now. It's okay that I'm not renovating the backyard right now.

It's okay that I'm not building my business growing my business at the moment. Because the season of life that I'm in is asking me to savor and enjoy this fleeting period. And to me, that's important. That, that is a priority. So I can do some things, but when I look at it, when my outlook is one of Keeping that priority straight in my head, everything gets easier in my system.

When I begin to expect more of myself than is reasonable, [00:23:00] or I bemoan the things that I can't do right now. I got an amazing invitation from a friend of mine. It's her 40th birthday. She's like, we're going to, where was it, the Bahamas? I can't remember. It's, she's six months from now, and we're staying at this resort, and come, it's a long weekend, and blah blah.

And then she said, Partners are welcome, kids are not. And I was like, fuck, I'm out. I will probably still be breastfeeding and not in a place where I have any desire to be leaving my baby yet at that point. And if I let myself get really bummed out for the things that I am not doing right now, That's going against the season I'm in.

 Let's take another example here. Let's say you're just heading into retirement, and you have these particular patterns, or these beliefs,

[00:24:00] That Whatever work you do is the value that you put into the world and that makes you a good person. And if that's a belief that you have, then retirement is not going to go well, if you have behaviors of numbing out or using substances to, to an extreme degree, To not feel your feelings, that might be a behavior that's really challenging if you're in a period of grief, and what is being asked of you is to feel and release emotion.

And I'm not putting that judgment on anyone. I mean, that may or may not be what a season of grief is asking of you. For all I know, a season of grief might be asking you to fucking numb out with substances. So, just an example, not a blanket statement for everyone's season of grief. Please hear that before you self [00:25:00] judge or think I'm judging, because definitely not.

So I want to say them again here. What season of life are you in? What is this season asking of you? Are you working against your season or with it? Or what does it look like when you are working with the season, with the flow? And what does it look like when you're working against it? And if you're journaling, I want you to write down, what are the feelings?

When I'm going with the flow or when I'm going against it. And what are the actions, like what does it outwardly look like? Because usually we'll be able to notice the feelings first. So for me, it's like overwhelm, it's anxiety, it's I find myself like feeling all this pressure and not enjoying life as much.

Those are all signs for me, right now, in this season, that I am not going with the flow of the season of life. When I'm present, and I'm just laughing, and I'm taking pictures of the baby, and [00:26:00] we're goofing off, and whatever else, I'm light hearted. There's an enjoyment, there's a peace, there's an ease, there's a simplicity that I'm feeling.

And that is a good sign that I'm going with the season that I'm in. So, I would love to hear, you can send me a message on the social platforms, or hit me up with an email or whatever. I would love to hear how this lands for you, and tell me the answers to this, if you're journaling through this. Or if you're, thinking about it while you're driving.

What are, the answers to these questions? And the very last one I want to leave you with is, What is one thing that if you could magically shift it inside yourself, would? Make being in flow with this season go so much better. And I'm not talking about an outward circumstance. Like, of course, if you're going through cancer treatments, then you're [00:27:00] gonna say, like, not have cancer.

That would make this season of life much easier. I'm talking about internal. For me, I can tell you right off the bat, If I could, Oh, actually, maybe there's two. Hmm, let me see, which one is top? Maybe balance my hormones. Like, if I could, if I could hit fast forward on my body being able to recalibrate back to hormonal balance, that might be top.

But second would be, if I had the ability To ignore all of the things that are wanting to be done. Like, this part of the house is a mess, and this part still needs to get set up, and you've gotta buy curtains for that room still, and da da da da da da da da. And that's for, my house, and my life, and my business.

All those things kind of scream at me all the time. And if I could tune that out, truly, like, energetically, completely, [00:28:00] Okay, I can do, I can do some, but if I could completely just be at peace regardless of, of all the things that are being, that are asking for my, for me to do them, that would have probably a huge impact.

So I'm going to be thinking about that. How could I maybe eke my way towards that? And I would love to hear your answers to these questions. 

[00:28:25] Conclusion: Embracing Your Season of Life

Happy season, whatever your season is, remember that they are all temporary. Sending love to your seasons.

Deep bow of gratitude to you, my friends, for showing up for yourself and taking the time for this experience. If you enjoyed this, and I hope you did, it would mean so much to me if you would write a positive review. And please, share this with your friends who you think might enjoy it. My team has set up some free presents for you, including a guided meditation, an energy healing, and a sneak peek into [00:29:00] one of my programs, so go to caraviana.com to download those. With the deepest love, cheers to all that you are.